Most skills take work, especially when it looks “natural.” Roleplaying, whether for a tabletop game or for a loving partner, is not something people necessarily do naturally. Fortunately, improvisation is a centuries-old art with a lot of advice, so here are a few you use for all circumstances.
Why Do We Say Yes?
“Yes, and…” is often a bit of misunderstood advice. Most people have heard “don’t say no” during improvisation. That when your fellow player gives you a set of circumstances, you should agree and add something, “look at that pink car… what the one with wings?” There are a lot of reasons for this. Saying Nien in a scene (or a game) does make it harder for flow/comedy/can be kind of disagreeable, but those aren’t the fundamental reasons for the Yes-And. The idea of building on your partner’s work in a scene is due to the nature of the art form. Improvisation, Table Top Roleplaying, or bedroom characters have only two methods to create the “world.” The first is the rules. Imagine watching Whose Line Is It Anyway, the game is Questions Only, but when Colin steps up (ah, that Colin), he begins an Irish drinking song. The other players would have nowhere to go. Roleplaying game rules tend to be a little more nebulous, but that’s why initial clarity is helpful. But (2nd) where the “Yes And” becomes vital is that at your table, there are no set pieces, no outside reality. The only truth is what the players describe. Now contradiction can happen, but outright dismissal should be avoided, “look at that pink car!… Take off your rose sunglasses… Oh, it’s bright blue!”
Go on… that’s fascinating.
Pay attention to your partner when it’s their time to shine. For so many reasons. One, it will be easier for them to do their thing if they’re performing WITH someone and not all by themselves. Second, as many of my directors used to say, you’re still on stage, buddy. If you’re not paying attention, it indicates no one else should. This is more than a respect thing because often when someone is not paying, they’re actually more distracting than they think (bite into chips so loudly!!!). Also, the people who not only pay attention but support their partner make it better for everyone. They tell a funny story you should laugh, they’re intimidating someone plays frightened. This is even more important in intimate scenarios where the difference between silly and sexy is how much their partner seems to enjoy themselves.
Is it time for my close-up?
Also, the advantage of being a courteous partner is that when it’s your time to shine, everyone better pay attention. This is a bunch of advice under the overall umbrella of “go wild.” If you’ve been practicing a new talent, (music, dance, whatever) as long as it doesn’t interrupt the flow, this is your time. Don’t be afraid to give and take… receiving can be a joy.
Archetypes are useful
When building a scenario, game, or spicy session from scratch it helps (especially in the beginning) to play common tropes. There is a reason Dungeons and Dragons pulled their “classes” from known fantasy characters, and why most adult roleplay suggests scenarios like “Professor/Student” or “Boss/Secretary.” Everyone already kind of knows their role. Once established this can be complicated (I’m a fighter who loves poetry) or reversed (the Secretary punishes the Boss for being inappropriate) and from there more complicated characters can be formed but do not be afraid of starting with the basics.
Know the Audience
Whose Line is it Anyway never broke down into a tragic story between father and son…. it… it would have been weird. Are you friends with this group, lovers, or work colleagues? All of these involve different social dynamics. What is their background? If you playing with people you know well, use that background, and new people, and either communicate ahead of time or hold off until you know folks a little better. Remember, there is no ONE time to do anything. Got a fun idea write it down for later.